Mud, Sweat, and well, Blood

Actually got some blood today (ROADIE ALERT!)
Just 40 minutes from my front door you can see this from the saddle of your mountain bike (I look like a giant bobble-head with this self portrait!!)

"F" trail looms ahead. Gorgeous, but technical for my crappy skills....

The past couple of weeks I've managed to put a day or two a week on the mountain bike. Yeah, I know - weird! It's been a really long time since I spent any amount of regular time on the knobby-tired machine, and I actually have missed it a bit. It's amazing to see how limited I am by my handling skills. Fitness doesn't seem to be the issue - it's figuring out how to maneuver the bike over, around, and through obstacles. My uncanny knack for managing to have my foot in the worst position was getting me down - literally. I kept hitting my foot on rocks, which in one case actually stopped the forward movement of my pedal and then proceeded to throw my momentum forward and up, raising my butt off the saddle in a surprise lurch forward.

But, it was totally worth it... riding out in the middle of the woods with no one else, with nothing but trees, trail, and the smell of the summer surrounding me. Again, I am blessed.

Gate City Grind

Weekend after weekend it seems we're off doing something. The weekend of the 28th and 29th we headed down to Pocatello for the Gate City Grind, a small little stage race that we primarily decided to hit because it's a race in the LAJORS series for the junior team. So, Mike being the great guy that he is, volunteered to take a bunch of kids on our juniors team down for the race. I had originally not intended to go, but figured I'd rather be on the road with him than at home by myself with the kids. Seems that a weekend together as a family is better than one split, even if it involves a lot of travel.

We arrived in Pocatello late Friday nite, or rather early Saturday morning (around 1:30 am). Dave, one of the guys on the VE cat 2 team, along with his wife Courtney, were generous in offering us their place to stay while they were road-tripping it to CDA (ironic). We had to roll out early Saturday morning to get registered for the road race.

My field was small - only 8 of us 1/2/3 women. Two teammates from Bob's made it - Kimberly Turner and Sarah Brown, so it was nice to have some familiar faces. There was one lady from Salt Lake that was supposedly the biggest threat for the weekend. I didn't know anyone else. The road course was suited to me - rolling, with small power climbs. We did 3 loops of the course for a total race distance of 54 miles. We stuck together for the most part, until heading up the starting hill of the 2nd lap. It was then that the Salt Lake girl and one other and myself found a break forming. I worked hard to get a good gap going, and we managed to stay away. At the same place going into the 3rd lap, the SLC girl and I rode away from the other lady, so then it was just the two of us. I was feeling really good, so I did the lion's share of the work for the rest of the lap. I realized that she would probably sprint me for the finish, and I didn't want to do ALL the work for her, so going into the last 3 or 4 miles we rode side by side, knowing it would come down to a sprint finish. With 200 meters to go, she went for it, and I came around her at the line to get the win. Truthfully, I could've ridden away from her at some point before that, but I was nervous about spending all my energy in the road race with the time trial scheduled for that afternoon. I felt like I was definitely the stronger rider, and was hopeful that I could take her in the sprint. It was a risk that I'm glad worked out.

The time trial that afternoon went great. I posted a time 34 seconds or so faster than 2nd place (SLC girl again), which landed me solidly in first place GC for the day.

The crit the next afternoon was awesome. Mike felt like my best bet would be to go from the gun and see if I could lap the field. I took off, and of course SLC came with me, along with Kimberly from Bob's. I looked over my shoulder to see who was with me, and was glad to see Kim - she was sitting in 7th place GC, and I hoped to give her some time advantage by towing her along with me. I drove the pace on the front, which eventually dropped Kim, unfortunately. SLC girl yelled to me that I'd lost a teammate, and I think she wanted me to slow down, because she didn't want me to lap the field and have it come to a 2-up race. But Mike yelled at me to keep going. I put my head down and kept drilling the pace, and eventually dropped SLC girl in another lap or so, then lapped the field. I took a lap or two to get my bearings, then worked my way to the front of the pack again to drill the pace and try to get Sarah a break - she was off from 3rd place by a mere 4 seconds. My plan was to get her on my wheel, take her with me on an attack, and tow her around to get the 4 seconds (and then some) on the 3rd place girl. Unfortunately, the SLC girl knew this, and being a teammate of 3rd place, she and one other teammate managed to do some serious blocking whenever I tried to go. Sarah had difficulties maintaining her position on my wheel. I spent almost the entire race either on the front drilling the pace or off the front attacking. Going into the last lap I drove hard, and sent Sarah off as third wheel in perfect position for the finish sprint - but she crashed on the hot pavement in the final turn up the little hill. She got a nasty case of road rash, but otherwise was okay. Even though the field was small, it was SO much fun to be riding so strong and feel so in control. It was great practice to just sit on the front and push - eager for the Twilight crit coming up in a couple of weeks!

Been a Long Time

Wow, not even really sure where to start catching you all back up with what's been going on over the last couple of weeks. I've been wanting to tell you how my race in Baker City, Oregon went. It was the weekend after Methow, the 20-22 of June. A three-day, four-stage race: a road race on Friday, a time trial and crit on Saturday, and another long road race on Sunday. Because I'm lazy, I'm going to cut and paste the race report that teammate Sarah Barber posted on our team website. For those of you that get bored with race details, don't bother. But, the sum of it all is that I felt great, did great by my standards (8th place GC in a race I wouldn't have even considered attending last year), and had a lot of fun:

If there was ever a doubt in the minds of cycling enthusiasts regarding the identity of the best women's bicycle racing team in the Northwest, it has been erased. The women of Team Bobs-Bicycles.com spent last weekend dominating the prestigious Elkhorn Classic Stage Race in eastern Oregon. The ladies secured three of the top ten GC spots, including the win, as well as multiple top three stage finishes. For details on the high mileage event, read on.....
The Elkhorn Classic Stage Race began Friday afternoon with the 75-mile Oregon Trail Road Race. Conditions were hot and dry as the women's field, which had doubled in size since the previous year, rolled out on the course. The most significant climb of the day occurred at just over halfway through the race, and it was at that point that Team Bobs-Bicycles.com racers Jenn Halladay and Sarah Barber moved to the front of the peloton to drive the pace. The pack blew apart instantly, as a rival racer threw down a vicious attack that saw most of the field falling off the pace. The crucial breakaway formed in short order, and it included THREE from Team Bobs-Bicycles.com, and on only one rival team member. Young talent Ally Stacher joined Hallady and Barber to increase the breakaway's lead to over two minutes by the end of the stage! Props also to Alice Pennington from Veloforma who contributed a lot to the success of the breakaway. With 1K remaining, Halladay left the small group and handily took the win. Stacher outsprinted the rival team member for 2nd place, and Barber rolled comfortably into 4th place. Shortly behind them, Team Bobs-Bicycles.com had Jenni Gaertner near the front of the field sprint, securing 7th place in the stage. Cat 3 teammates Kim Turner and Sarah Brown also put in strong finishes in their races, taking 4th and 5th places respectively.
The next morning, the racers faced a 10.5 mile flat-to-rolling time trial, and the competition was stiff. As usual, the women from Team Bob's Bicycles.com rose to the challenge. Allison Beall strutted her stuff by rolling into 2nd place with a blistering fast time. Teammate Barber was an entire minute behind Beall, but it was good enough for 3rd place and.....the race leader's jersey!! Gaertner and Halladay also finished in the top eleven for the TT stage. Sarah Brown stole 3rd place in the Cat 3 field and put enough time into her competition to move into 3rd in GC standings.
Saturday evening, disaster struck. Despite a confident start with Team Bobs-Bicycles.com all over the front in the Gold Rush Criterium in downtown Baker City, a pavement-soaking rain shower arrived shortly into the race. One thing led to another, and nearly 1/3 of the women's field hit the deck hard on a slick corner. While Gaertner, Barber, and Beall were quick to jump to their feet (and Brown, Turner, and Stacher had avoided the incident entirely), Halladay took a short ambulance ride to the ED where radiology revealed a fractured pelvis. The race was canceled due to adverse conditions, and a tearful Halladay headed home.
The ladies of Team Bobs-Bicycles.com came together Saturday evening, knowing that they had a job to do and all kinds of causes to support. Above all, the goal was to preserve Barber's first place GC and do their best to maintain Stacher's and Gaertner's positions inside the top ten, as well. But the women also wanted to honor their fallen teammate, represent their wonderful sponsors (Vern and Nancy Ward of Bob's Bicycles), and prove that they could thrive under the pressure now upon them. No surprise--the mission was accomplished with ease. Beall took an early solo flier to make the race more interesting and force some chasing by the opposition. Gaertner power-chased the threatening attacks, and Stacher clung to Barber's side on every climb, prepared to do whatever it took to keep the pedals turning. Ultimately, the stage came down to the final climb up Dooley Mountain. Beall set tempo at the front until the closest GC competitor began to attack. Stacher and Barber followed the wheels, opting to let two non-contenders in GC escape a few seconds up the road. With under 1K to go, Barber attacked the small remaining grupetto, and soloed to 3rd place. Stacher outsprinted another rival for 4th. With these results, Barber was the solid GC winner, and Stacher secured 4th place. Jenni Gaertner hung tough to also finish inside the top ten, with 8th place in GC. Kudos to Sarah Brown, who had the "climb of her life" (her words) to hang on to 3rd place in the Cat 3 GC.
All in all, this regional stage race saw the women of Team Bobs-Bicycles.com come together and operate like a well-oiled machine, each part doing its job to contribute to the success of the whole. An extra special thanks goes out to Bev Calder, owner of Bella, one of the most wonderful specialty stores you'll ever find, conveniently located in downtown Baker City, Oregon. Calder set the team up with fabulous host housing, fabulous meals, and prize money equal to that of the men's race. Anyone traveling through Baker City should make the effort to stop in and check out Bella's fine wines, gourmet foods, kitchen gadgets, and more. Plus, Bell is open from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m., seven days a week....EVEN ON SUNDAYS!!!! ;-)

Methow Valley Tour

Winning a prime lap

Quick race update for y'all: this last weekend (Father's day weekend) we headed over to Winthrop for the Methow Valley Tour, a 3-stage, 2-day race in Mazama, Twisp, and Winthrop, Washington. I really like this race because it is pretty low key, the scenery is beautiful, and the course suits me because it's not got a ton of climbing in it.

Day one started with the time trial at Mazama. My teammate, Allison, crushed it, coming in second place by only one second! I came in 5th, almost a minute behind her and the top four women - sheesh!!! I really need to get on the tt bike. I know that all the women that came in before me spend a decent amount of time honing their TT skills, so I guess I feel okay coming in 5th place behind them..... goal list for next year.

The crit was later that afternoon in downtown Twisp. Wines of Washington had almost their full team there, I think, and Group Health had 4 or 5 riders, and Byrne Invent had another 4 or so. So, Allison and I were desperately outnumbered. My strategy was just to stay in the front to be ready for any attacks. It was a blast! I tried to be as aggressive as I could - either off the front or keeping anyone else from getting off the front. Allison was awesome and pulled through to chase down a couple things, and there were two occassions where I was in a 2-woman break - unfortunately, we got reeled in both times. Mike was on the radio cheering me on and helping me with strategies. Coming into the last lap, I was in great position, but the third corner is tricky, on an uphill, and coming into the finishing straight I just didn't have it in my legs to hold on for the sprint - I came in 7th. But, I was really happy with the way I rode - I felt strong, nothing got away, and I felt like it was good practice for Twilight coming up in July. A few girls, and even some of our guys complimented me on how aggressive I was during the race. That was really nice to hear. Tricia Bailey from Wines complimented Allison and me on how well we worked that race. That's awesome when a competitor compliments your race performance.

The road race the next day was a circuit of 14 miles, which we completed 4 times. Wines and Group Health were apparently working together, so there were about 10 or 12 riders all together there. I heard a Group Health girl tell one of the Wines girls that, "we won't chase any of your riders down." Again, Allison and I were obviously outnumbered. Our plan was to not chase anything that went off unless it had Suz Weldon or Tricia Bailey in it - those were the immediate threats in the points standings. As expected, Wines threw out some attacks - one stayed out - a two-woman break with I think Gina Kavesh and Tamara Bessette - for almost 2 full laps. The Byrne Invent girls and Allison and I did a lot of work to reel them in by the end of the third lap. Going into the last lap, I think Allison and I were both expecting Wines to make a move, and they sure did. Tricia Bailey, Robin Secrist (who was in the lead), and one other rider I can't remember now went off the front after we headed through town up this little hill and up some stair-step elevation. I knew it was a dangerous break. Fortunately, Allison was able to dig in and help bring the three back, and I grabbed her wheel - and the pack re-grouped very briefly until Suz counter-attacked. Crap! I was almost fried from just hanging in there after that first one! Suz stayed out there briefly, and I realized that she just might pull this off, and my chances for attempting a bridge were dwindling by the second. I was thinking I needed to try to bridge to bring it together again for Allison's sake - she was tied with Suz for points. So, I bolted out of the pack as best as I could, and managed to bridge up to her. I worked with her for a few miles, until she dropped me on a little roller - just had minimal legs on me by that point. But, I did manage to keep her in my sight, keep the pack from seeing me, and hold the pack off for a second place finish!! I finished right behind Suz - within a minute or so I think, so I was happy. I've never had such an aggressive race, or believed in myself enough to be that aggressive. I finished in 4th place overall - "In the money" as they say, and Allison finished 6th overall. I think it was a great finish for us, considering we were so outnumbered!

So, all in all it was a fun weekend. Feeling a bit stronger than I was a few weeks ago, obviously. Next weekend is Elkhorn... just hoping I can hang on there, too.......

37 Degrees

I drove in to the parking lot yesterday morning and saw this on the readerboard:

37

And heard that there was snow falling at the Spokane airport. Man, I'm ready to be done with this...

911

I really love my kids.

Today I woke up lazily, after sleeping in unreasonably. Then the kids and I hopped on our cruisers and headed to breakfast at Michael D's. After that we rode along the centennial trail so the kids could do some monkeying around....

Later this afternoon I took the kids up to meet Mike at Farragut State Park, where he and Justin competed in the NIC Outdoor Adventure Race. The plan was then for me to ride home, in a roundabout way, and meet them for the Tri Club cruiser ride.

I headed west on the highway out of Farragut, crossed Highway 95, and then headed through Athol. Hung a left on old Hwy 95, then took a right to head west on Bruner. Funny thing is, I had just been thinking about how much I enjoy riding my bike, how blessed we are to live in an area like this, how awesome it is that the kids enjoy the activities we do, how lucky I am. Scary thing is, I had a premonition...

Riding west on the highway out of Farragut is beautiful. It's a 4-lane road with not too much traffic. But I suddenly got scared when I came across the speed limit sign that read 60 mph, and there wasn't much of a shoulder to speak of. I had a vision of myself getting hit from behind from someone talking on their cell phone, reaching for a soda, turning the radio station. I envisioned myself lying on the side of the road, calling Mike on my cell phone. It gave me chills. Then it made me turn around every 30 seconds or so to see if there was any traffic behind me. If there was, then I watched them intently to be sure that they got into the left-most lane. And I kicked up the speed for the 4 miles to "safer" ground.

So like I said, I crossed Hwy 95 and got myself to Bruner road - familiar territory. I settled into a nice easy pace for the ride home.

Now friends, I know that we've all had training at some point in our lives regarding emergencies. Who to call, what information to tell the dispatcher, what details to remember. I've always wondered if I would be able to keep it all together in a state of emergency. Today I think I passed the test.

You see, a couple of jackasses in a pickup truck decided that it would be HILARIOUS to - yes, you may need to sit to believe this - SLAP ME ON MY ASS AS THEY DROVE BY ME AT 35-40 mph. Hilarious. Hear me laughing?

Luckily, after the initial shock wore off (did that just happen?!), I got the plate number. And, because I actually tend to remember to bring more crap than is ever necessary, I pulled my cellphone out of my back pocket and called 911. God was looking down on me in so many ways this afternoon: I wasn't injured. The 911 dispatcher rides bikes and couldn't believe this had just happened, and patched the call to an officer. The officer rides bikes, is married with kids, and is competing in Ironman. In short, they took my call very seriously.

After spending 30 minutes on the phone with the sheriff deputy giving the plate number, description, and my account, I headed back home. He assured me that he would do everything possible to find the guys. He asked what I would like him to do if he ended up finding them. I asked him what my options were - I definitely wanted to press charges. Then I told him I wanted him to issue them a citation. This means that they would have to make an appearance in court and explain their actions to the judge. The judge most likely would waive jail time and instead give them community service, along with around a $300 fine. It would go on their permanent record as a misdeameanor battery charge.

Now, I know that most likely these guys were just getting their jollies. How funny would that be, I'm sure they were thinking, to see the look on her face if we slapped her butt??? Then I'm sure they were thinking of telling all their friends around a couple of brews. And while I wasn't hurt physically, what scared me was the what-ifs...

What if I wasn't a good bike-handler and it startled me so badly that I lost control of my bike? What if the driver just misjudged his distance an inch or so the wrong way? What if the slapper misjudged his force and knocked me off? I could have been seriously injured, or worse, my kids - my precious children who count on me being there for them - could be without a mom.

I'll bet those guys had no idea an officer would be at their door tonight. I'll bet they had NO idea they messed with the wrong girl. The wrong girl for sure.

See you @#$*ers in court.

Water Levels at Record Highs

The crazy heavy snowfall this winter is now turning to crazy spring runoff, with flood conditions in Lake Coeur D Alene and surrounding area rivers. In fact, the lake has a temporary "NO WAKE" law in effect for the entire lake right now. For those of you familiar with Independence Point right in downtown CDA, you'll be amazed at some of these pictures:

As a point of reference, this is Independence Point during an Ironman start. Note the crowds standing on the "bank," a series of concrete steps that reach down to the water - I think there are about 8 of them, about 24 inches tall each...

Ryan and Alli standing at the top concrete step at Independence Point. The dock behind them is the one they use to load people to the seaplane. The rock bed to Ryan's left is the little man-made "creek" that starts at a fountain about 15 yards behind where I took the picture. For those of you that know, the creek dumps into the lake usually about 10-15 feet down.

This is at the main city parking lot at Independence point. Notice the bench and trash can immersed - these are usually 20-25 feet from the water's edge.

The water is almost over the top steps at Independence Point. These are the 8 or so 24" high steps that go down to the water, so you can see how high it is...

Another shot looking toward Independence Point - you cannot see the steps that are normally there..... the spectators for Ironman would be submerged!

The water almost up to the seawall - notice the lifguard's perch.

Another shot of the water creeping up into the parking lot... This is the one that the kids are posing in with their bikes.

Things You Can See on a North Idaho Road Ride

Funny thing, when you go riding here in North Idaho, you are struck by the beauty of the area. Thought it would be funny to blog about "things you see on a NORTH IDAHO road ride...."

Ever seen a giant cell phone tower disguised as a REALLY tall tree? It's hard to see with this picture, but that giant pokey thing on the top of the mountain across the lake is a cell phone tower that they cleverly attached branch-looking thingies to in an attempt to make it less of an eyesore...

Speaking of eyesores... this is quality property management....

Right next to properties offered for LOTS of money....


Right next to a quaint farm overrun by black bunnies (sorry, can't see them in the picture unless you really zoom in on the black specks...)

And finally, where else but in North Idaho can you come across someone's front yard, complete with a llama, a rooster, a sheep, and a couple of goats.....

Mike's 24-hour MTB Race

A "Before" picture with me, Mike, and Tommy. Mike heard his name over the loudspeaker because he'd forgotten to sign in. Tommy's set to do the 24 hours of mechanical needs, with me set for the food, moral support, and aches and pains...
Everyone lines up to wait for the official starting gun. The start was a 600 meter LeMan's-style run...

Mike grabs his bike from Tommy on his way back from the run...

Midnight cravings for beef stew (don't ask me, that's what he wanted)...

Mike's completed his third 24-hr MTB race, with today's Round and Round the Clock in Spokane, Washington. For quite some time he was in first, about 8 minutes in the lead. Around 2 AM, though, he decided to sleep, noting that the second place guy at the time was a fellow training for Trans-Alp and a seasoned competitor in the elite field at the 24-hr World's. This guy wasn't going to be stopping at all, and Mike realized that there was no way he could keep up the pace without digging really deep. Since this race was just a practice run of sorts to prepare for the World Championships in July, Mike decided to not dig himself into a hole and just finish. Plagued with knee and back pain, the time off the bike to rest allowed him to race a few more laps in the morning. I still need to confirm, but we think he ended up 10th. Not bad for sleeping around 6 hours!

Now it's rest, recover, rebuild, and kick ass in July!

Some Hard Lessons

Wild lupine at the top of the TT course

The view from the top of the first climb (about 2 miles long) of the TT course.

I've been delaying writing a blog about my experience at the Mount Hood Cycling Classic last week. Delaying it because I knew it would be a longer blog, because I knew it would be a little difficult to write, and because I didn't want to sit on my pity-pot any longer.

After a full week, however, I think I've found closure with my experience - enough to take a step back and tell you all how it went.

For those of you who don't know, MHCC is a 6-day stage race in Portland and Mt Hood, OR. For the women, this year's race was UCI, meaning that it attracted the top international and national women's teams, all vying to earn UCI points that could move women from the "long list" for the Olympics to the "short list." Meaning that there were legends in the peloton (Jeannie Longo. Mara Abbott. Leah Goldstein. Tina Pic.). Meaning that the top women's teams were here in full force. Meaning that these women were in top form, some coming off months of training and racing in Europe to come over here to kick some serious ass. Meaning that I jumped in with both feet...

First, let's start at the very beginning. You all know from a previous blog that I became sick with a very bad cold. The illness settled in my sinuses, and the fabled Z-pack didn't seem to touch it. A week before the race, I called a friend who is a doctor, and asked her advice. I figured that after the 5-day Zithromax that I would've been feeling tons better. But instead, every upper tooth in my mouth felt like it had a cavity, and I couldn't bend over, ride over a bump, run, jump, etc without excruciating pain. "That's classic sinus infection," she said. After some nasty Kleenexes full of thick mucus and blood, I understood. She suggested I get on some bigger antibiotics, and called in a prescription for some Cipro. It was a 10-day course. Which meant that I would be taking the antibiotics during MHCC.

I called Kendra everyday that week, letting her know how I felt, and having her prescribe the day's workout based on my illness. I had taken the previous week completely off the bike, and was easing back into it. She wanted me to get some harder efforts under me before Tuesday's Prologue. Usually she doesn't have riders try that until after they're off the antibiotics, "They just make you sluggish," she explained. But we both knew that wasn't really an option given the 10-day prescription. So, I did my moderate intervals, felt what I would call "okay," with adequate power output, and decided to still go to Hood.

I had asked her that week, though, about when I would know to pull the plug. I could tell that I wasn't going to be 100% recovered. I hadn't originally planned on doing this race when I had laid out my season, but when Bob's asked me to be on the team, Jeanne really talked me into it, despite my concerns that this is a big climber's race, and I'm NO climber (too much junk in the trunk to compete with the REAL climbers!). "You'll be fine," Jeanne insisted. Little did we both know how different this year's field would be compared to her point of reference from years past... I asked Kendra how I would know if going through with Hood could damage my season's goals. I was concerned about going into it not recovered enough to sustain the damage, and worried that I could potentially dig myself into a hole and ruin months of hard work. "You just have to take one stage at a time," she said. She said the risk would come if I slugged it out when I was too sick to go on. I put it in the back of my mind and told myself it wouldn't come to that.

My teammate Allison and I were scheduled to drive down to Portland on Monday, spend the night, relax the next morning, then meet the team early afternoon before the Prologue. Sunday night I was awoken around midnight when Ryan came into our room wheezing, "Mom, I can't fall asleep... I can't breathe." Crap!! The kid sounded like he had whooping cough, but I knew from personal experience that it was croup. I had him lie down with us in bed, trying to get him to relax. But then I couldn't sleep - I was panicked thinking I would/should (?) take him to the ER for a breathing treatment. I kept listening to be sure he was still breathing. All told, I think I got around 3 hours of sleep that night. I called in sick to work at 3:45 AM, knowing I wouldn't make it in, since I didn't want Mike to have to take him to the shop. We had no options for a babysitter, and I didn't want him staying home alone. Mike was able to come be with him that afternoon so that I could meet Allison a little earlier to start our drive.

We arrived in Portland and found our hotel without a hitch, thanks to Allison's trick GPS gadget that navigated for us the entire week. The next morning, however, we weren't able to sleep in like we both so desperately wanted. We had to head to the airport to pick up a teammate. I hadn't planned on it when I'd packed up the car, and cramming Jenn's huge bag (AKA "the beast") in the backseat, along with her and about 6 wheels in bags was quite the sight! Luckily it was a short drive to meet the team at the Prologue course.

The Prologue was a pancake-flat 1.7 miles. I'd never done anything like that before. How do you pace for 1.7 miles???? All-out, was all I could think. My inexperience was painful. I felt stressed about every little thing. About getting the TT bike off the car. About putting the disk wheel on the back. About pumping up the disk wheel with the adapter. About making sure the brakes were adjusted (thanks, Tommy). About getting the road bike off the car and onto the trainer to warm up. About making sure that I was at the start the obligatory 15 minutes early so the judges could weigh my bike and set it up against the jig to ensure it met UCI regulations. ARGH! This was where I really missed Mike. He's my rock and my calming force. I realized suddenly and painfully how much I rely on him. And it sucked.

Despite my crappy warmup and my stress (no thanks to Jeanne for telling me 10 minutes before my start regarding my comment about being nervous starting on a ramp, "Yeah, the first time I started on a ramp I fell over!"), I finished in 35th out of 84 women! The next day Kendra found me and said, "Nice job! You made first page in your first UCI race. We should get you on the track!" I told her that I didn't think I did it right, didn't think I'd paced myself appropriately hard. "Did you have the taste of metal in your mouth and feel like you were going to puke?" she asked. Uh, no. Should've gone harder. Lesson learned. Prologue down, Stage 1 ahead.

Wednesday brought Stage 1, the Mount Tabor Criterium. The announcer called it "a crit in name only," stating that it really was a short circuit race, owing to the 130 feet of climbing per 1.3 mile lap. Check out the link above and look at the profile map. Basically, if you weren't climbing, you were descending, and it was like no crit I've been in. With over 80 women starting, it was a bit nerve-racking. I started well-positioned, given the size of the field, and fought as hard as I could. Unfortunately, I made a tactical error, of sorts. Tommy saw it all happen from the sidelines. The way the course is laid out, the climb winds its way for about a half mile around several turns. As I was fighting to make my way up through the pack, I didn't see that Jeannie Longo had launched an attack around the corner. Suddenly I found myself gapped, even though I was focused on sticking to the wheels in front of me. ARGH! Tommy said it was painful to watch, "The 10 or so girls in front of you just gave up... they didn't try to chase on, and you got gapped." I chased with 3 other girls, but to no avail. We just tried to hang in there as long as possible, delaying the inevitablitity of getting pulled from the race. We were pulled with 4 laps to go, putting me a little over 4 minutes down in GC behind the leaders going into the next day's stage.

Thursday's stage, the Cooper Spur Circuit, had me terrified. Close to 19 miles made the circuit, which we would complete 3 and a half times. About 8 miles of the circuit was comprised of a climb (again, check out the profile map) - so once again, it was either up, or down. This was the race that Jeanne said "you'll be okay... the pack always stays together because there's such a long descent after the climb that everyone can chase back on." I knew going into it that a long sustained climb at 6-8% wasn't my forte. Which also meant that it was critical to stay positioned as far in the front of the field as possible. Again, I fought as hard as I could, but I was popped off the back of the back with about 200 meters to go from the top of the climb. Despite my best efforts, along with 3 other ladies, we weren't able to close the gap until 8 miles later, when we found ourselves at the back of the back at the base of the hill for the second time up the climb. By then, I felt like my legs were already spent, but I tried getting up into the middle of the pack. It was to no avail, though. By the time I huffed and puffed my way into the pack, it surged as the riders prepared for the sprint (couple spots on the course are marked as sprint points lines or queen of the mountain lines, where riders can earn points for being the best sprinter or the best hill climber - a competition within the overall competition of the race), and once again I found myself off the back. That pretty much was all she wrote. I rode a lap or so with Liz Nettles on my wheel, but then she ran into some difficulties and dropped off. At the middle of my last way up the last hill, it was MY turn to be into some difficulties, and she and Yukie Nakamura passed me. So for most of the race I was by myself. The 90 degree heat and the climbing beat me down. I looked at my arms, my legs, sparkling with crystallized salt from my sweat. "I'm screwed," was my immediate thought. Then I just turned to, "I have to finish this..." I think perhaps my lowest point was when, on my last time up the climb, I was passed by the men's Pro peloton. And their entire caravan. And the entire "unofficial" caravan of race fans and supporters, including the old guy in the beige four-door yelling out his open passenger window, "Good job... almost there.... you DO know you have to make it in a certain time, right? You know that?!" F-you was all I could think. Thankfully I had the composure to keep it to myself. I made it to the finish a humiliating 68th place out of 73, the last rider to make the time cut (in a UCI stage race like this, riders have to finish within a certain percentage, determined per stage, of the winner's time. If outside of this percentage, they are "time cut," and unable to continue on to the next stage.). I was now over 32 minutes down in GC (GC is General Classification. In a stage race, the winner is the rider who has the lowest overall time when you combine all the stages.). Holy cow. Welcome to the big leagues. After the race I made it back to the car to start to change clothes. Luckily Allison had had the forethought to have me park the car in the upper parking lot, adjacent to a rumbling creek. "This is where we sat in the creek to soak our legs last year," she'd said. Sure enough, the creek was full of racers, and I eagerly made my way down the embankment to sit with everyone. I never thought I'd enjoy an ice bath so much! It was then that the "hugeness" of what I was doing hit me: "I'm sitting in a creek with the top female cyclists in the nation right now. Team TIBCO, Colavita-Sutter Home, Veloforma, Aaron's, Value Act Capital ... And I'm listening to them talk about how their fiance proposed, what they're going to do this summer, how the race went for them." While I was a bit awestruck, I did realize that we're all regular people... except they get paid to ride. While I was changing out of my jersey there was a racer from the Veloforma team standing very close by, talking with a friend of hers about her frustrations with her 4-year-old putting his hands in his mouth. "I'm just going to guilt-trip him, now... tell him he has to stop doing it because it's getting Mommy sick!" Before I realized it iI laughed out loud. "It'll never work," I laughed. "When they're that young they don't get that concept." Anyway, the point of me telling this little story is that she then laughed, asked if I had kids, does it get any easier, etc etc. Somehow it came out that I also work full time, and I was frustrated that I got dropped and nervous because this was only my second Cat 2 race. She said, "Oh my God! You can't race at this level and work! An off week for me is about 10 hours on the bike, and otherwise it's around 20! You should be proud that you finished! This is a tough race!"

The Gorge Time Trial was Friday. The night before, I was actually relieved thinking that the next day was a TT. Usually I do well with that event. I was hoping to redeem myself and move up a couple spots in the overall standings. There would be no such luck, however....

Since I was so low in the GC, I was the 3rd rider to start in the TT (they start in reverse order). Unfortunately, my legs didn't feel as good as I was hoping they would during my warmup, and I found myself a bit more winded and fatigued than I expected. Once again I found myself staring down the start ramp, nervous, excited.

The course is beautiful. I had noticed that when Allison and I drove it on our way to Portland on Monday. Lush greenery, wildflowers, parallel to the gorge. However, as with every stage, there was some significant climbing. For cripes sake! I found myself frustrated that this race couldn't just have one stupid stage without a stupid climb up some stupid 6%, 8%, 10% hill. Needless to say, my TT was no good at all. I made up no time, and actually was slower than most of my teammates. 54th out of 67. So what, now I'm over 40 minutes down in GC?! Once again I found myself beaten down. Except now I was beginning to realize that I was not myself...

Back at the room that night I was falling apart. It didn't help that I'd started my period. It didn't help that I was worried about Ryan, who was still so sick that Mike ended up having him stay home from school the entire week. It didn't help that I'd taken my last dose of what was 15 straight days of antibiotics that day. I was so completely not myself that I was falling apart inside, wanting to cry at the drop of a hat, then feeling ridiculous that I was so labile, which made me want to cry, which made me feel even more ridiculous... you get the picture. I was absolutely terrified to start the next day's stage: the dreaded Wy'East Road Race. I honestly didn't know if I could finish. I was scared. I was afraid of failure, afraid of letting the team down, afraid of letting Mike down, afraid of letting Kendra down, just in general being unreasonable with myself. I called Jeannie Bihlmaier, a coaching colleague, and cried and talked with her. I decided to at least start. Tomorrow would be another day. Maybe I'll feel better. It'll be good training, at the very least. I may surprise myself. My team director, Jeanne, also asked me to start, "We need you for the crit on Sunday. Just 74 more miles until you get to race your crit."

The road race started out at a fairly moderate pace. I think everyone knew that the day would be a long one, with the climbing and the heat. Once again, I tried positioning myself in the pack as best as I could. But crap, I'm sliding back?! Where are my legs?! It's mile 8 and I'm getting popped?! Sure enough, as the pack slowly started picking up the pace leading into the first Queen of the Mountains set around mile 11, I found myself out the back of the pack - popped like a bad zit - quick, dramatic, and painful. The peak of my humiliation came when the comissaire, as she passed by in her caravan car, said (in her Swedish accent), "What, do you have a flat?" No, lady, I just suck right now. Then one by one, the caravan cars passed by. Most of them didn't even look over. One gave some encouragement because he recognized me from local racing. Then the last car, with the chief referee, came up beside me. "Just so you know, there's no sag wagon for this race. You'll have the men's races coming up behind you at some point," he looked a little concerned. "That's okay," I replied. "I'm going to abandon at the first feed zone." I knew I was done for. But I also knew I at least had to make it the 30 or so miles to the first feed zone, where Jeanne said she'd be. I needed to ride those miles to be sure I was done.

A couple of riders abandoned before I did, turning around to catch rides back at the start area, I guess, which made me feel better that I wasn't the only one. They abandoned at mile 8. I was at least going to ride the 30 to be absolutely sure. When I pulled into the feed zone, I saw teammate Allison standing there at the car with Jeanne. I told them both that I was done, between trying to hold back tears. And I knew I was done. "Sorry," was all I could keep saying to Jeanne. After some quick calculations, we all knew I wouldn't make the timecut that day, which was set at 12%. And, really, I knew that toughing it out to finish the ride in the heat, for what was sure to be 4 or 5 hours, could potentially put me into a hole from which I may take weeks to recover - placing the rest of my season at risk. Argh!

After following the race from the perspective of the caravan, I decided to head to Wenatchee to meet Mike and the kids and some of the Vertical Earth team, where they were racing. The long drive from Mt Hood to Wenatchee was good for me, providing me time to myself to sit on my pity pot, then get angry, then get over it. I realized, as I frequently try to remind myself, that I do not get paid to do this. I work at least 40 hours a week. I have two kids. This was my second Cat 2 race - heck, this was my first NRC race, let alone UCI with a field that was out of this world! I race because I love it... and if it gets to the point where I can't love it, I need to do some re-thinking.

And finally, the next day I found closure when I talked to Kendra and she told me I should be really proud of myself, expecially considering that I was sick. And the fact that the field was so strong.

But next time, Mike comes with me!